Going with the teen age flow…

My 16 year old son is home after 7 weeks away working for my sister in England. It’s so tempting to be all over him. Whadidyado? Whatwasitlike? I want to know all that he’s thinking about, specially as I’m at a bit of a loose end, sort of waiting for school to get started.

I’m trying something I saw in the book “Switch” where abusive parents were taught to follow their child’s lead instead of trying to direct, control and judge their child’s play. It was a really effective intervention.

So I’m trying the same thing in a 16 year-old, modified form, considering that Jamie is not really playing with blocks any more nor is all that abused. Just being here while he recovers from jet lag, not going out, not being too driven to just hang with him a little when he surfaces for a chat every now and then. That’s the thing I forget. You just have to be around. It’s not about ‘quality time’, it’s about being quietly here, taking a bit more interest in music than I might choose for myself.

A quiet couple of days, feeling the house and the pack – pets and all – back together again.


About Sue Boudreau

Sue Boudreau, 7 and 8th grade science teacher and still loving it after 33 years. My mission is to empower young people to use science-centered project based learning to make a difference in the world.
This entry was posted in Relationships, Watching the world. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Going with the teen age flow…

  1. Barbara McGuffey says:

    I had a lightbulb moment like that when my youngest was Jamie’s age. At that time I worked at switching from driving the conversation(s) to waiting and listening. Transformative is not too ambitious a desciptor.

  2. Sue Boudreau says:

    Exactly – I know you know, and it is. Now if only I can hold to it!

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